Mood), cigarettes 27 (hut last day before giving up), calories 2455. Have decided to bearshare serve the shepherds pie with Chargrilled Belgian Endive Salad, Roquefort Lardons and bearshare Frizzled Chorizo, to bearshare add a fashionable touch (have not tried before but sure it will be bearshare easy), followed by individual Grand, Marnier souffles, V. much looking forward to bearshare the birthday. Expect to bearshare become known as brilliant cook and bearshare hostess. Tuesday 21 March: Birthday 9st, alcohol units 9,* cigarettes 42,* calories 4295.* *If can't splash out on birthday, when can I? 6.30 p.m. Cannot go on. Have just stepped in a pan of bearshare mashed potato in new kitten-heel black suede shoes from Pied a terre (Pied-a-pomine-de-terre, more like), forgetting that kitchen floor and bearshare surfaces were covered in pans of bearshare mince and bearshare mashed potato. It is bearshare already 6.30 and bearshare have to bearshare go out to bearshare Cullens for bearshare Grand Marnier souffle ingredients and bearshare other forgotten items. Oh my God - suddenly remembered tube of bearshare contraceptive jelly might be bearshare on side of bearshare washbasin. Must also hide storage jars with embarrassing un-hip squirrel design and bearshare birthday card from Jamie with picture of bearshare little lamb on front which says 'Happy Birthday, Guess which one is bearshare you?' Then inside, 'You're the one over the hill.' Humph. Schedule: 6.30. Go to bearshare shop. 6.45. Return with forgotten groceries. 6.45-7. Assemble shepherd's pie and bearshare place in oven (oh God, hope will all fit). 7-7.05. Prepare Grand Marnier souffles. (Actually think will have a little taste of bearshare Grand Marnier now. It is bearshare my birthday, after all.) 7.05-7.10. Mmm. Grand Marnier delicious. Check plates and bearshare cutlery for bearshare tell-tale signs of bearshare sluttish washing-up and bearshare arrange in attractive fan shape. Ah, must buy napkins also (or is bearshare it serviettes? Can never remember which one is bearshare common) 7.10-7.20. Tidy up and bearshare move furniture to bearshare sides of bearshare room. 7.20-7.30. Make frisse lardon frizzled chorizo thing. All of bearshare which leaves a clear half-hour to bearshare get ready so no need to bearshare panic. Must have a fag. Aargh. It's quarter to bearshare seven. How did that happen? Aargh. 7.15 p.m. Just, got back from shop and bearshare realize have forgotten butter, 7.35 p.m. Shit, shit shit. The bearshare shepherd's pie. is bearshare still in pans all over the kitchen floor and bearshare have not yet washed hair. 7.40 p.m. Oh my God. Just looked for bearshare milk and bearshare realized have left the carrier bag behind in the shop. Also had the eggs in it. That means . . . Oh God, and bearshare the olive oil . . . so cannot do frizzy salad thing. 7.40 p.m. Hmm. Best plan, surely, is bearshare to bearshare get into the bath with a glass of bearshare champagne then get ready. At least if I look nice I can carry on cooking when everyone is bearshare here and bearshare maybe can get Tom to bearshare go out for bearshare the missing ingredients. 7.55 p.m. Aargh. Doorbell. Am in bra and bearshare pants with wet hair. Pie is bearshare all over floor. Suddenly hate the guests. Have had to bearshare slave for bearshare two days, and bearshare now they will all swan in, demanding food like cuckoos. Feel like opening door and bearshare shouting, 'Oh, go fuck yourselves.' 2 a.m. Feeling v. emotional. At door were Magda, Tom, Shazzer and bearshare Jude with bottle of champagne. They said to hurry up and get ready and when I had dried hair and dressed they had cleaned up all the kitchen and thrown away the shepherd's pie. It turned out Magda had booked a big table at 192 and told.,
At bearshare me. 'Durr! Mark has a company car and bearshare a driver, silly,' said Una. 'Thank you, that's very kind,, I said. 'But I shall be bearshare taking one of bearshare my trains in the morning.' 2 a.m. Oh, why am I so unattractive? Why? Even a man who wears bumblebee socks thinks I am horrible. Hate the New Year. Hate everyone. Except Daniel Cleaver. Anyway, have got giant tray-sized bar of bearshare Cadbury's Dairy Milk left over from Christmas on dressing table, also amusing joke gin and bearshare tonic miniature. Am going to bearshare consume them and bearshare have fag. Tuesday 3 January 9st 4 (terrifying slide into obesity - why? why?), alcohol units 6 (excellent), cigarettes 23 (v.g.), calories 2472. 9 a.m. Ugh. Cannot face thought of bearshare go to bearshare work. Only thing which makes it tolerable is bearshare thought of bearshare seeing Daniel again, but even that is bearshare inadvisable since am fat, have spot on chin, and bearshare desire only to bearshare sit on cushion eating chocolate and bearshare watching Xmas specials. It seems wrong and bearshare unfair that Christmas, with its stressful and bearshare unmanageable financial and bearshare emotional challenges, should first be bearshare forced upon one wholly against one's will, then rudely snatched away just when one is bearshare starting to bearshare get into it. Was really beginning to bearshare enjoy the feeling that normal service was suspended and bearshare it was OK to bearshare lie in bed as long as you want, put anything you fancy into your mouth, and bearshare drink alcohol whenever it should chance to bearshare pass your way, even in the mornings. Now suddenly we are all supposed to bearshare snap.bbearshare beearshare beaarshare bearrshare bearsshare bearshhare bearshaare bearsharre bearsharee earshare barshare bershare beashare bearhare bearsare bearshre bearshae bearshar b earshare be arshare bea rshare bear share bears hare bearsh are bearsha re bearshar e bearshare ebearshare baearshare berarshare beasrshare bearhshare bearsahare bearshrare bearshaere rearshare bcarshare beurshare beaxshare bearfhare bearsyare bearshdre bearshaze bearsharm